In this episode 13 protocols
▶ 31:36 Keep Learning New Things Across the Lifespan Behaviors “when they're still learning new things... the person who's interconnected, learning new things, right, has a much greater probability of living longer and living healthier” ▷ 37:27 Make Yourself as Healthy as You Can Be Behaviors “let me look at myself, make myself as healthy as I can be, right? Because if I'm healthy, I'll recognize a lack of health in the other, right? So it also protects us against bad relationships.” ▷ 1:14:39 Identify and Get Curious About Avoidance Behaviors “This happens a lot where there's avoidance. And then we get curious about the avoidance because the person's like, I just, there's something in me just, I don't want to do that, right? Okay, so there's avoidance. We identify avoidance.” ▷ 1:15:17 Explore Conscious and Unconscious Sources of Shame Behaviors “Maybe the way that they experience or are attracted to sexuality was disparaged or denigrated... or maybe they had a couple bad experiences where they were treated in a certain way” ▷ 1:33:15 Recognize Attachment Insecurity and Find a Healthy Medium Behaviors “I have attachment insecurity in the sense that I'm worried, right? I get anxious about like people going away and I can, you know, want to over control. But I recognize this inside myself.” ▷ 1:37:42 Leave Abusive Situations When Possible Behaviors “if we give people the understanding and we give them the help, the means, they don't have to stay in abusive situations.” ▷ 1:47:25 Seek Community Support Structures Behaviors “a lot of times it's just community support structures, right? Good structures around people in communities that can offer them support” ▷ 2:26:13 Investigate Anxiety Starting With Yourself Behaviors “if my levels of anxiety are very high and therefore it's causing problems in my relationship... The first place to go is to look at myself.” ▷ 2:29:05 Consider Medication for Chronic High Anxiety Supplements “sometimes a little bit of medicine that kind of just pulls that down person can take that for 50 years life is better there's no side effects” ▷ 2:30:58 Investigate Overuse of Soothing Behaviors Behaviors “Maybe that's the person who's overusing the thing that soothes, right?” ▷ 2:38:13 Mentalize Behaviors “Mentalization, which is the ability to discern feeling states, intention states in self and others.” ▷ 2:38:40 Notice When Your Lens Is Distorted by Defenses Behaviors “If we're seeing clearly, we're learning about the other... but it's the health in us that is so crucial to what we do with that information... If I have a defense system that leads me to externalize responsibility, that leads me to project” ▷ 2:54:46 Delay Conflict Discussions Until There Is Clarity and Calm Behaviors “I don't know how it's going to go if we interact about it now because I can't rely on me so like hey can we talk about this later”